What is Love – during COVID-19?

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What Is Love – during the COVID-19 pandemic?

April 25, 2020 – By Michelle Matthias
The Bible says, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”
Simply put, love cares. Love cares too deeply to not care about the what, where, when, why, who, and how of our loved ones. We all have our unique personality traits but those traits are not game stoppers in the face of love.
As we navigate the pandemic, we are faced with realities that are often times sidelined in our marriages. As we shelter in place we are forced to look at issues that we would rather not face but are forced to deal with. We are compelled to pause not only for the pandemic but to review the internal operations of our life, our marriages, our homes, our relationship with God.
The pandemic pause has pushed us to look at our plans and preparedness for the future. One of the incentives of being a Christian is knowing that God has prepared a place for us where we will spend eternity free from suffering. Love cares! Love makes us want to face our realities even in painful situations.
The norm for most couples is that their typical workweek is spent apart. Now as we pause and shelter in place we are required to spend all day, all week, and the weekends together. Added to this new routine are many new realities that must be dealt with. Working from home and navigating new demands, the threat of unemployment, complexities of simple grocery shopping, homeschooling, meal preparation, missing significant milestones, lack of socialization, keeping the family safe and healthy, and dealing with the anxieties of seeing death all around with no room to grieve. The picture of future uncertainty is now very visible.
So as we shelter in, there may be a tendency to naturally embrace our coping mechanisms. One spouse may want to jump on all the pending home projects; the other would rather stay under a blanket all day. One spouse may think that they need to see and hear all the news about the pandemic; the other may think that avoiding the news and maintaining a regular routine is what is best. One may see this as a blessing for their relationship; the other sees it as a curse. Our approach to coping during the pandemic may be different because we deal with stress differently. This can create an atmosphere of indifference and undue strain on marriages.
Creating a new normal that offers balance to each individual is important. If all one spouse wants to talk about is their to-do list, and what ‘we’ need to do, and hoarding more groceries, and sanitizing our hands every five minutes….having such conversations nonstop, day after day could make the pause into a prison.
Tips for creating balance
  • Talk about feelings and anxieties/listen without judgment and justification
  • Talk about a succession plan for each. Morbid as it is, it should be done. Have a will, and talk about finances
  • Set time aside to deal with conflicts and or concerns
  • Allow breathing space for each other
  • Have a plan for the division of tasks/responsibilities
  • Intimacy – still important, date night and showing of affection gives reassurance and reinforces a sense of security
  • Exercise – gardening or going for a walk breaks the monotony/routine
  • Take time for self-care, get out of the pj’s
  • Use available platforms to stay in touch with others
  • Embrace a hobby
  • Spend time in prayer and set aside time to attend services that are streamed electronically
  • Embrace the present and be hopeful for the future full of blessings.
Love cares. Care for your spouse with love!

27 thoughts on “What is Love – during COVID-19?”

  1. Tandi says:

    This message is so timely and profound given the new realities that so many of us are facing right now. It’s so important to be compassionate and emphatic at this time and to be aware of how these changes affect our families and friends.

    I really liked the tips for creating balance at the end of the article because they are realistic things we can do to love ourselves and to hold our loved ones closer during this pandemic, while staying optimistic and hopeful for the future!

  2. Jermaine Brown says:

    This blog post is spot on as it covers both sides of a very real spectrum. Very informative and practical as we learn and develop new habits to maneuver through these uncertain time. Thank you for always allowing God to speak through you administering faith and hope!

  4. Stacy says:

    “…one may see this as a blessing for their relationship; the other sees it as a curse….” what is love during Covid-19 gives a realistic view into the lives of many of us during this time. It is feelings and thoughts expressed and it forces us to look deeper. The tips for creating balance is not just helpful, it is also doable!!! Thank you sis Michelle!!!…#hearts&hugs

  5. Shondell James says:

    This is a timely and very helpful post. When dealing with the stress and strain of daily life we often wish for time to be home. Now that we are, and now that has been for an extended period of time, we realize that we need to have plan to exist effectively. This post gives practical, can-be-done-now tips. Thank you.

  6. Peggy says:

    This message is what I just experience with losing my children father to Covid-19. Although we were not together, it is important to talk with your children and other family members about feelings and anxiety and to listen without judgement. It’s very important to spend time in prayer and uplift each other in spirit.

    We must always show love to each other no matter what the circumstances are.

    I like the tiip about get out of the Pj’s. I did, I looked in the mirror and said I’m still alive and I’m going to look the best that I can. God has truly been good to me and I accept his blessings.

    Michelle continue to let God use you and let no weapon form against you .

  7. Andy says:

    This is a timely & poignant piece. Life is a journey that’s filled with challenges & now with the pandemic that’s an added challenge.
    This article identifies several areas that may cause stress, anxiety & conflict in different relationships whether personal or marital. It also offers several suggestions to combat & cope with this added challenge.
    It’s enlightening to see that LOVE is the way to cope with the new normal. Love of self, spouse & most importantly love of God.
    This is a great, informative article that reassures us all that we’re all in this proverbial storm together but with love, we’ll be able to cope, survive & thrive.

  8. Audley says:

    Great job Michelle! Very practical and applicable to help recenter the mind, slow down and rediscover the simple skills of love. Prison or pause is all about perspective. This is a time together, talking, training children, solving long neglected core weaknesses to build more strength. The rush of life has left many people without patience but being forced into change is an opportunity to grow. You have given us tools to adapt well and be better. Keep on!

  9. Tania Gushway says:

    I love the principal focus, Love Cares! It’s a reminder to refocus your intentions and find that motivation to love in a healthy way; while experiencing so much confinement. Perhaps because we have been stripped of our right to choose so many things that we struggle to also give up our right to behave how we want during this time. We don’t realize that we are allowing our emotions to lead us. But like you said, Love Cares! Thank you for this.

  10. Tracey H says:

    Thank you Michelle, for this timely and wise counsel. It cannot be said enough: communicate, communicate and finally, communicate. We all have emotions and express them in different ways, so it behooves us to focus on ways to live with our spouses harmoniously in this pause.

    I also appreciate the gentle touch of reality that you encourage us to focus on: succession planning. Let’s face it, no one lives forever in this world and many heartaches can be avoided by putting pen to paper and organizing your estate the way you want to while you can.

  11. J. Hamilton says:

    I love How freeing this advice is: ‘Our approach to coping during the pandemic may be different because we deal with stress differently’. It takes away all judgement and admonishes us to be aware and accepting of our differences during this time. Love does cover a multitude of sins. If we can be empathetic and recognize we’re all in this together, we’ll come out better on the other side. Beautifully written.

  12. Mia says:

    Thank you for the lovely words, it feels very timely to reconsider how our relationships can grow and respond to the new circumstances. This post really allows us all to consider the minor and major stresses of living in times like these, and to give both ourselves and our loved ones the space to adapt as we need to. And above all, you remind us to continue to care, and to continue to love.
    Thank you.

  13. Kesha Mckenzie says:

    I love how you are always able to leave no relational stone unturned yet still be so simple, poignant and relatable in your delivery. The vicissitudes of life has produced a new normal that is at times hard to navigate but you have provided me with some great tips that will help bring much sanity. I’m glad to be reminded that we all deal with stress differently and sometimes I just need to hold my horses, get-out of my head, pull up my breaches and get over myself and just give love a chance to work.
    Loved it!

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