Extending Love, Grace, and Compassion To Yourself

Extending Love, Grace, and Compassion To Yourself

Michelle Matthias

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. “ Dalai Lama

As a follow-up to my blog on Self Empowerment, I figured that touching on the topic of Extending Love, Grace, and Compassion to Yourself would be a good next step.

Oftentimes many of us take for granted how changeable our thought patterns are. It is also more likely for our thoughts to get fixated on the negative – “I’m so fat,” “I’m not a loving spouse,” “I’m not very smart,” “Everyone else is happier than me.”

Living in a society that is filled with media stereotypes of perfection and the not so subtle messages in which love and acceptance require visible accomplishments – perfect body, high income, fashionable clothes, scaling the career ladder, must-have car, having the right friends, can create thought patterns of being inferior if we believe that we are falling short of these ‘norms’.

But as I have said before, PERFECTION is a MYTH. Only GOD is PERFECT!

So having set the record straight once again, let’s shift into the essence of this week’s blog. How do we extend love, grace, and compassion to our ‘perfectly’ ‘imperfect’ self?

As stated in the blog on Self Empowerment, start by partnering with the truth and speak that truth out loud.

Are you happy to be alive? Do you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?

If so, declare it. Try it now by speaking it – “despite my shortcomings, I LOVE MYSELF AND I AM GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE.”

Extending love, grace, and compassion to yourself start when you change your negative narrative thus quieting the inner critic. The goal should not be for perfection but through your efforts of self-love, acceptance, never-ending grace, and compassion, you will be able to gain inner peace and strength.

So if efforts of self-love, grace, and compassion create a byproduct of inner peace, isn’t it worth your focus? What are some things we can do to love ourselves a little better? How can we extend grace and compassion to ourselves?

1. Think and Speak kindly to Yourself. This is a great place to start. Your words are incredibly powerful, and if you continuously tell yourself you’re unworthy, you’ll start believing it and acting like it. Negative self-talk does not make you a bad person but it is a bad choice.
2. Respect Yourself. Self-respect is valuing yourself for who you are, and not allowing others to dictate your value. It’s trusting yourself, thinking for yourself, knowing for yourself. It is also refusing to compare yourself to others.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself. We are trained by societal standards to be competitive, so comparing ourselves to others is natural. But it can be dangerous and it hinders us from being kind and supportive to ourselves.
4. Forgive Yourself. Forgive yourself for mistakes that you have made. Unforgiveness hinders love and healing. Forgiveness is a vital part of extending love, grace, and compassion to yourself. We all make mistakes. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
5. Care for Yourself. Carve out time to do things that you truly enjoy. Society today tells us over and over to, do more, make more, be more. But what makes you happy? What makes you joyful and uplifted? Don’t feel guilty, you deserve some of that too and that is loving and caring for yourself.
6. Express Gratitude. A feeling of gratitude is a very powerful and essential part of love, grace, and self-compassion. Rather than wishing for what you do not have, there is strength in appreciating what you do have, right now. You can express gratitude through prayer and reverence to God, by journaling and listing your blessings, by taking gratitude walks…
7. Be Your Best Advocate. You are extending love, grace, and compassion when you lean into your strengths. Seize opportunities with confidence when they are presented. Being doubtful and fearful about your capabilities is a disservice to self.
8. Accept Yourself. It does not mean that you are settling or that you are perfect. It means that you are happy to work with what you’ve got right where you are at. Let your flaws become your flavor. Accept yourself as you are. You have strengths, and you have weaknesses. Sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you fail. Sometimes you’re right, and sometimes you’re wrong. But be kind and compassionate even when you are correcting yourself.

Of course, the list goes on, but I think you have gotten the gist. By extending love, grace, and compassion to ourselves we are simply giving to ourselves the everyday kindness, courtesies, and mercies that we offer to others as a simple act of humanity. You also deserve this from yourself. Don’t forget to extend love, grace, and compassion to yourself.

“Life’s greatest opportunity for growth comes when you give fertile ground to that which is positive.” – Michelle Matthias