What Is Love – during the COVID-19 pandemic?

April 25, 2020 – By Michelle Matthias

The Bible says, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

Simply put, love cares. Love cares too deeply to not care about the what, where, when, why, who, and how of our loved ones. We all have our unique personality traits but those traits are not game stoppers in the face of love.

As we navigate the pandemic, we are faced with realities that are often times sidelined in our marriages. As we shelter in place we are forced to look at issues that we would rather not face but are forced to deal with. We are compelled to pause not only for the pandemic but to review the internal operations of our life, our marriages, our homes, our relationship with God.

The pandemic pause has pushed us to look at our plans and preparedness for the future. One of the incentives of being a Christian is knowing that God has prepared a place for us where we will spend eternity free from suffering. Love cares! Love makes us want to face our realities even in painful situations.

The norm for most couples is that their typical workweek is spent apart. Now as we pause and shelter in place we are required to spend all day, all week, and the weekends together. Added to this new routine are many new realities that must be dealt with. Working from home and navigating new demands, the threat of unemployment, complexities of simple grocery shopping, homeschooling, meal preparation, missing significant milestones, lack of socialization, keeping the family safe and healthy, and dealing with the anxieties of seeing death all around with no room to grieve. The picture of future uncertainty is now very visible.

So as we shelter in, there may be a tendency to naturally embrace our coping mechanisms. One spouse may want to jump on all the pending home projects; the other would rather stay under a blanket all day. One spouse may think that they need to see and hear all the news about the pandemic; the other may think that avoiding the news and maintaining a regular routine is what is best. One may see this as a blessing for their relationship; the other sees it as a curse. Our approach to coping during the pandemic may be different because we deal with stress differently. This can create an atmosphere of indifference and undue strain on marriages.

Creating a new normal that offers balance to each individual is important. If all one spouse wants to talk about is their to-do list, and what ‘we’ need to do, and hoarding more groceries, and sanitizing our hands every five minutes….having such conversations nonstop, day after day could make the pause into a prison.

Tips for creating balance

Love cares. Care for your spouse with love!