The Desire for Change

By Michelle Matthias

 

It is with sincerity and great appreciation that I say thank you to my readers and subscribers for taking the time to read and to so graciously share their comments and encouragement either publicly or privately.

 

Last week I focused on emotional ownership and awareness and this week I am taking a brief look at The Formula for Change with reference to The Beckhard-Harris Change Model. This formula works with organizational as well as individual change.

 

Probably like me, you have had a desire to make meaningful changes in some areas of your life but find that it’s easier said than done. Oftentimes these desired changes are not followed through to fruition. So the question is, why is this so? Why do I desire this change but fail to execute the necessary actions needed to accomplish it? What needs to happen for my actions to be congruent with my desire?

 

All these questions are undoubtedly and arguably influenced by a myriad of factors, but in this blog I want us to consider the Beckhard-Harris formula as one way to think about the change process.

 

Change is usually about growth and;

• All growth requires a change
• All change requires a growth mindset
• Change can be uncomfortable for some; and
• All meaningful change is a process

 

The Beckhard-Harris formula for change is:

D x V x FS > RC

 

D   represents dissatisfaction/desire

V   represents vision

FS   represents first steps

RC  represents resistance to change

 

This formula is saying that if there is strong dissatisfaction (D) with the current state (whatever the focus of change might be), it will serve as a driver and motivator for change; which when coupled with a clear vision (V) of a preferred future; will/should give the courage of taking the first steps (FS) towards that change and overcoming the resistance of change (RC). So essentially, the product of DxVxFS should be greater than (>) the current resistance to change (RC).

 

I do apologize if I have confused you with the formula but a simple biblical way of putting it is, “…so faith without work is dead” James 2:26. Change is not just in an idea/vision; change does not just happen because we are dissatisfied. Change happens because we act; we push; we persevere because we know that our current state is not our desired place.

 

I believe that oftentimes the resistance to change (RC) is linked to fear.

If that is the case, remember that faith is not the absence of fear; it is the conquest of fear. The Psalmist says, “when I am afraid, I will trust in you.” Psalm 56:3

 

If this has gotten your attention, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• What specific change do I need to make?
• What is it in my current situation that is driving me to change?
• Do I have a clear vision of what I would like to see?
• What steps do I need to take?
• What do I need to do to move forward and make it happen?
• How committed am I to the process?

 

With steadfast determination, change can be accomplished. The question is, how badly do you need it? “For with God, nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1: 37

 

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”

 

 

 

 

Empowered to Withstand

By Michelle Matthias

 

As a Professional Personal Development and Life Coach, I like to identify myself as an Empowerment Coach.

 

Why empowerment? Empowerment is defined as “the process of becoming stronger and more confident. Yes, Empowerment can have many different meanings to different people—depending on their experiences, circumstances, hopes, and dreams.

 

Having been challenged by 2020, we realized that we all needed to find ways to support ourselves in staying focused, positive, and steadfast. We all needed to be empowered and or to stay empowered.

 

As we enter the New Year, still in the grips of the pandemic, it’s important that we remain determined and vigilant with fostering a healthy psychological outlook. It is said that having psychological flexibility is an incredibly important element that is beneficial not only for us to survive but for us to thrive.

 

Referencing a blog from the British Psychological Society’s Research Digest, it explains:

“A psychologically flexible person is characterised by a set of attitudes and skills: they are generally open to and accepting of experiences, whether they are good or bad; they try to be mindfully aware of the present moment; they experience difficult thoughts without ruminating on them; they seek to maintain a broader perspective when faced with a challenge; they continue to pursue important goals despite setbacks; and they maintain contact with “deeper values,” no matter how stressful a day might be…”

 

Psychological flexibility allows us to bend without breaking. With the help of God, we can withstand.

 

How do we Empower ourselves and maintain psychological flexibility? Some possible ideas are:

 

• Find your passion…it motivates and fulfills
• Don’t wait around…Take action and be creative…empowered people don’t wait for it to happen, they make it happen
• Kindness. …kindness transcends…be consciously kinder to others and yourself
• Tidy up. …uncluttered environment; uncluttered mind
• Set the right kind of goals. …dream big; set realistic scalable goals
• Raise up others. …’ no man is an island’…be supportive and encouraging, it’s like a boomerang
• Let go. …let go negative thoughts…let go negative people…let go unforgiveness
• Have a self-care day….not just to rejuvenate and relax but also for a mental detox
• Take action to seize opportunities…when you encounter a problem, consider a direct solution, even if you haven’t worked out all the details…be solution-focused
• Adopt a positive flexible mindset…never underestimate the power of a positive mindset…thinking positively through all situations gives a sense of calm, peace of mind, happiness, productivity, and a feeling of self-worth. Maintaining the daily habit of being aware of what and how the mind is thinking empowers you to take responsibility for your mental state. Thinking positively helps you to confidently solve problems and face life’s daily challenges, knowing that everything will work out to your benefit. For Christians, this is unshakable faith.
• Pray, pray, pray…..prayer is empowering. It reminds us that when all is said and done we cannot do life without God who gives life. Prayer connects us to God and empowers us to be peaceful, to be hopeful, and to withstand.

 

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

 

“Wishing you a Blessed and Prosperous New Year.”

Choices are driven by behavior, and from our behavior habits are formed.

There are some choices that we make that are visible to those we know and come in contact with – how we choose to dress, how we choose to speak, how we choose to eat. Our choices echo our personality. It voices our preferences. Our choices speak of our identity. Amazingly, situations and associations can drive our choices as well as change our choices. External stimuli influence our choices in obvious ways and, in subtle ways – what we choose to look at, what we choose to listen to, what we choose to eat are all choices we are making, and they are influenced knowingly or unknowingly by many factors.

But I’m most curious about the choices we make to be mentally and spiritually whole – the choices we make in our most private space. What’s on your mind? What have you chosen to be on your mind? We stop to think about many of our choices, but how often do we stop to think about ‘what we are thinking about?’ Metacognition gives us the ability to think about what we are thinking about and to further explore the why’s behind our thoughts. We have a choice. What we think may be driven by the external but we have a choice to process our thoughts and allow them a place of residence in our mind or to dispel them.

Thoughts can become a web that entangles us, that colors our moods and attitude, and dictates our feelings. If these thoughts are positive and constructive then the results will be uplifting but what about when these thoughts are negative and destructive? A negative thought pattern can become so habitual that it becomes second nature. We accept it as our identity. We defend it as an extension of our personality. But do you have a choice? Is this who you really want to be? Are your thoughts beneficial to you? Are they contributing to your happiness? Are your thoughts screaming positivity and progress? If your answers are ‘no’ you might be feeling pretty depleted, exhausted, and drained.

We so often struggle because the battle is in the mind. Thinking is as natural as breathing and too often we think without thinking and our thoughts have free rein in our mind. We oftentimes accept our thoughts as accurate, but not because it’s our thoughts and they are in our mind, it means that they are factual. Not because thoughts enter our minds means that we should offer them a place to stay.

You have a choice. You can choose what stays and what goes. Make a conscious and intentional effort to meditate on the things that are constructive and beneficial to your wellbeing.

 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. – Philippians 4:8

 

“Your thoughts are not always your friends; don’t be afraid to change them” – Michelle Matthias

 

Have you ever felt blown about or battered in the middle of doing exactly what you believe God told you to do?

 

Sometimes following Jesus can take you directly into the heart of a storm.

 

Matthew 14:22, 24, 26 “22 Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. 24 But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. 26 And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea…”

 

Jesus will come walking on your stormy seas. He is your hope and anchor. He will keep us in the midst of our storms. He is able to keep us steadfast and unmovable in spite of the tides of life.

 

When challenges come upon us – and they will – we must be steadfast in faith and trust God. Jesus is our hope. He is our anchor. Hebrews 6:19, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure…”

 

Wherever your storm might be, you are not alone. Jesus is with you and He will see you through. If life makes you feel like you are drowning, your lifeguard walks on water and He is your unmovable anchor.

 

“The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging seas
The anchor holds in spite of the storm”

– The Anchor Holds – Ray Boltz

 

Hebrews 6:19, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure…”