Author: Michelle Matthias

Emotional Ownership and Awareness

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

 

 

Emotional Ownership and Awareness

By Michelle Matthias

 

Emotional ownership is a terminology that is associated with organizational management but I do believe it is an appropriate terminology in our personal life as we attempt to re-center ourselves and effectively/positively navigate life, considering all the unforeseen circumstances of 2020.

 

I think emotional ownership begins with emotional self-awareness. It’s the ability to manage and to take control of our emotions and our responses to others’ behavior in an effort to be more accountable to ourselves. It’s taking responsibility for our internal dialogue and knowing the detriment of negative self-talk vs. positive self-talk.

 

Ownership is the state or fact of exclusive rights and control over…

The owner of something is the person to whom it belongs.

 

Emotional ownership is assuming responsibility for our internal as well as our external responses and/or dialogue and becoming more aware of how these responses affect our quality of life and our emotional stability.

 

Mastering our own emotions unlocks our ability to positively influence our current and future actions to live a more productive and healthier life. We cannot control everything that we will encounter in life; however, we can control how we react and ought to take responsibility for our emotional response.

 

It’s said that happiness in our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts. Our thoughts depend on our emotional awareness and ownership.

 

So, here is a process to think more positively and be emotionally aware of your approach.

 

– If you change the way you think, you will change the way you feel.

– If you change how you feel you will change your behavior.

– If your behavior changes, so do your actions!

– If you change your actions, you change your outcome!

 

Let’s be aware and be deliberate in taking ownership of our emotions as we step into this New Year that we are so blessed to be a part of. Let’s stay positive and optimistic in our internal and external dialogue with the knowledge that having this positive mindset has many health benefits, such as: boosts our energy; makes us feel confident; helps us to be emotionally resilient; wards of depression; improves our quality of sleep, and increases our life span.

 

Below is an interesting summary of emotional ownership vs. emotional neglect from The Holistic Psychologist.

 

 

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”   Ephesians 4:31–32

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“We cannot control everything that we will encounter in life; however, we can control how we react and ought to take responsibility for our emotional response.”

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Empowered to Withstand

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

 

 

 

 

Empowered to Withstand

By Michelle Matthias

 

As a Professional Personal Development and Life Coach, I like to identify myself as an Empowerment Coach.

 

Why empowerment? Empowerment is defined as “the process of becoming stronger and more confident. Yes, Empowerment can have many different meanings to different people—depending on their experiences, circumstances, hopes, and dreams.

 

Having been challenged by 2020, we realized that we all needed to find ways to support ourselves in staying focused, positive, and steadfast. We all needed to be empowered and or to stay empowered.

 

As we enter the New Year, still in the grips of the pandemic, it’s important that we remain determined and vigilant with fostering a healthy psychological outlook. It is said that having psychological flexibility is an incredibly important element that is beneficial not only for us to survive but for us to thrive.

 

Referencing a blog from the British Psychological Society’s Research Digest, it explains:

“A psychologically flexible person is characterised by a set of attitudes and skills: they are generally open to and accepting of experiences, whether they are good or bad; they try to be mindfully aware of the present moment; they experience difficult thoughts without ruminating on them; they seek to maintain a broader perspective when faced with a challenge; they continue to pursue important goals despite setbacks; and they maintain contact with “deeper values,” no matter how stressful a day might be…”

 

Psychological flexibility allows us to bend without breaking. With the help of God, we can withstand.

 

How do we Empower ourselves and maintain psychological flexibility? Some possible ideas are:

 

  • Find your passion…it motivates and fulfills
  • Don’t wait around…Take action and be creative…empowered people don’t wait for it to happen, they make it happen
  • Kindness. …kindness transcends…be consciously kinder to others and yourself
  • Tidy up. …uncluttered environment; uncluttered mind
  • Set the right kind of goals. …dream big; set realistic scalable goals
  • Raise up others. …’ no man is an island’…be supportive and encouraging, it’s like a boomerang
  • Let go. …let go negative thoughts…let go negative people…let go unforgiveness
  • Have a self-care day….not just to rejuvenate and relax but also for a mental detox
  • Take action to seize opportunities…when you encounter a problem, consider a direct solution, even if you haven’t worked out all the details…be solution-focused
  • Adopt a positive flexible mindset…never underestimate the power of a positive mindset…thinking positively through all situations gives a sense of calm, peace of mind, happiness, productivity, and a feeling of self-worth. Maintaining the daily habit of being aware of what and how the mind is thinking empowers you to take responsibility for your mental state. Thinking positively helps you to confidently solve problems and face life’s daily challenges, knowing that everything will work out to your benefit. For Christians, this is unshakable faith.
  • Pray, pray, pray…..prayer is empowering. It reminds us that when all is said and done we cannot do life without God who gives life. Prayer connects us to God and empowers us to be peaceful, to be hopeful, and to withstand.

 

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“Wishing you a Blessed and Prosperous New Year.”

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Happy Holidays

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

 

 

Happy Holidays. Happiness Fulfills

 

 

During this Christmas season, I pause to count my blessings and to say heartfelt thanks to all those who have so graciously supported me by subscribing, commenting, and reaching out to encourage me. For all of these things, I am deeply thankful and humbled.

 

Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy and Healthy Christmas and a New Year filled with bountiful blessings, good health, prosperity, and continued partnership.

 

May the good things of life be yours in abundance not only at Christmas but throughout the coming year, 2021! Be filled with happiness. Happiness fulfills.

 

 

“….for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. ..For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:10-11

 

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“Wishing you a Blessed, Happy, Healthy, and Joyful Christmas.”

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Balancing Stress During The Holidays

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

 

 

Gratitude Attracts Blessings

 

 

Balancing Stress During The Holidays

Michelle Matthias

 

Thank you for the world so sweet

Thank you for the food we eat

Thank you for the birds that sing

Thank you, Lord, for everything

In Jesus Name we pray, Amen.

 

It’s been a year that has been marked by so many unprecedented events, but here we are. Welcome to the holiday season with all its blessings and its challenges.

 

Even without the unprecedented events of 2020, the holidays have always been challenging for many. While this season is meant to bring feelings of love and cheer, it’s also undoubtedly a time of great stress for many.

 

The bombardment of glitzy advertisements, the whirlwind of gift-giving, the holiday parties and activities, the decorating of homes, the family gatherings, the must-have purchases, and of course the overindulgence in food and drink can make it feel like we do not have a choice.

 

We have a choice every day in this life.  We can live absorbed in worry and stress, on the fast track of busy, focused only on what surrounds us while tuned into the pace of the world.

Or, we can ask God to help us take our eyes off all that may be swirling around, our problems and challenges, our grief and pain, and the negative voices of others.

 

We can look up…to Him, the One who holds it all together, and who holds us in His hands and be intentionally grateful. Gratitude has holistic benefits. Gratitude has been proven in studies to be beneficial to our overall health and well-being. Having an attitude of gratitude helps to combat stress. Stress can dampen your holiday if your priorities are not in order.

 

So here are some suggestions on lowering your stress level as you navigate the holidays:

 

  • Have reasonable and realistic expectations – unmet expectations cause disappointment.
  • Focus on what you have rather than what you do not have, and be thankful – ….little is much if God is in it.
  • Make a budget …and follow the budget – it’s like coloring within the lines.
  • Do not let guilt push you beyond your comfort level – overextending yourself causes stress. Too many activities, even if they are fun activities, can result in too much holiday stress and leave us feeling frazzled, rather than fulfilled.
  • Zoom in instead of Zoom out …see the little things because they matter.
  • Keep a gratitude journal – Count your blessings. Find some time over the holidays to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for.
  • Give thanks….be intentional about saying thank you to those who serve you…at the grocery store, etc….use your words to bless… a thank-you note.
  • Give your loved ones a glimpse of your love – use your words. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with your family by writing and/or verbally expressing your enjoyment and appreciation for them.
  • Plan intentionally – If you know that the holidays are going to be stressful, make sure you are scheduling some “me” time and carving out time for self-care.
  • Pray – find time to pray. Jesus is the reason for the season. Christmas is about hope, gratitude, faith, thanksgiving…none of which would be possible without Him.
  • Finally and most importantly – focus on the reason for the celebration rather than the customs created to celebrate the occasion.

 

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

 

 

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“Thank you for the world so sweet

Thank you for the food we eat

Thank you for the birds that sing

Thank you, Lord, for everything

In Jesus Name we pray, Amen.”

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It’s A Choice -My Mind, My Thoughts

Posted on by Michelle Matthias
My Mind, My Thoughts

 

Choices are driven by behavior, and from our behavior habits are formed.

There are some choices that we make that are visible to those we know and come in contact with – how we choose to dress, how we choose to speak, how we choose to eat. Our choices echo our personality. It voices our preferences. Our choices speak of our identity. Amazingly, situations and associations can drive our choices as well as change our choices. External stimuli influence our choices in obvious ways and, in subtle ways – what we choose to look at, what we choose to listen to, what we choose to eat are all choices we are making, and they are influenced knowingly or unknowingly by many factors.

But I’m most curious about the choices we make to be mentally and spiritually whole – the choices we make in our most private space. What’s on your mind? What have you chosen to be on your mind? We stop to think about many of our choices, but how often do we stop to think about ‘what we are thinking about?’ Metacognition gives us the ability to think about what we are thinking about and to further explore the why’s behind our thoughts. We have a choice. What we think may be driven by the external but we have a choice to process our thoughts and allow them a place of residence in our mind or to dispel them.

Thoughts can become a web that entangles us, that colors our moods and attitude, and dictates our feelings. If these thoughts are positive and constructive then the results will be uplifting but what about when these thoughts are negative and destructive? A negative thought pattern can become so habitual that it becomes second nature. We accept it as our identity. We defend it as an extension of our personality. But do you have a choice? Is this who you really want to be? Are your thoughts beneficial to you? Are they contributing to your happiness? Are your thoughts screaming positivity and progress? If your answers are ‘no’ you might be feeling pretty depleted, exhausted, and drained.

We so often struggle because the battle is in the mind. Thinking is as natural as breathing and too often we think without thinking and our thoughts have free rein in our mind. We oftentimes accept our thoughts as accurate, but not because it’s our thoughts and they are in our mind, it means that they are factual. Not because thoughts enter our minds means that we should offer them a place to stay.

You have a choice. You can choose what stays and what goes. Make a conscious and intentional effort to meditate on the things that are constructive and beneficial to your wellbeing.

 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. – Philippians 4:8

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“Your thoughts are not always your friends; don’t be afraid to change them” – Michelle Matthias

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Hope & Anchor

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

Have you ever felt blown about or battered in the middle of doing exactly what you believe God told you to do?

 

Sometimes following Jesus can take you directly into the heart of a storm.

 

Matthew 14:22, 24, 26 “22 Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. 24 But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. 26 And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea…”

 

Jesus will come walking on your stormy seas. He is your hope and anchor. He will keep us in the midst of our storms. He is able to keep us steadfast and unmovable in spite of the tides of life.

 

When challenges come upon us – and they will – we must be steadfast in faith and trust God. Jesus is our hope. He is our anchor. Hebrews 6:19, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure…”

 

Wherever your storm might be, you are not alone. Jesus is with you and He will see you through. If life makes you feel like you are drowning, your lifeguard walks on water and He is your unmovable anchor.

 

“The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered
The anchor holds
Though the sails are torn
I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging seas
The anchor holds in spite of the storm”

– The Anchor Holds – Ray Boltz

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

Hebrews 6:19, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure…”

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Thanksgiving

Posted on by Michelle Matthias
Give Thanks

 

If you are anything like me, you stepped into the year 2020 with boldness and anticipation and eyes set on ambitious resolutions. But as February rolled around, we started gaining insight that this was going to be a year like no other.

2020 has been a year of real uncertainty – the COVID-19 pandemic, racial tensions, political and social upheaval, floods, hurricanes, brush fires, all of which have become our reality.

 

In uncertain times, continuing to rejoice in the Lord is not easy.  When we are faced with unemployment, food anxiety, housing insecurity, strained relationships, separation from loved ones, and marriages hanging in crisis mode, it can be hard to rejoice in the Lord.  

 

Yes, it’s easy to feel discouraged and defeated. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and undone. It is easy to find yourself wondering if your future has any victory.

 

As we approach a Thanksgiving Day (for those in the USA) like nothing we’ve ever experienced, I urge you to stop for a moment and breathe and reflect on your blessings and be thankful. We all have much to be thankful for. We are alive.

 

Thanksgiving—the giving of thanks—to God for all His blessings should be one of the most distinctive marks of the believer in Jesus Christ. We must not allow a spirit of heaviness to harden our hearts and chill our relationship with God and with others. Being Christian does not give us immunity from pain on suffering here on earth.

 

While imprisoned, Paul wrote, “Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:19-20, NIV).

 

Always giving thanks for everything—no matter the circumstances! Thanksgiving for the Apostle Paul was not a once-a-year celebration, but a daily reality with regards to his situation and that’s how it should be for us.

 

Refusing to thank God for His blessings goes against biblical directives. From the beginning to the end of the Bible, we are commanded to be thankful. In fact, thankfulness is the natural outflowing of a heart that is attuned to God. The psalmist declared, “Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving” (Psalm 147:7, NIV).

 

Celebrating Thanksgiving Day 2020 may be different. If, you are celebrating with immediate family only, or on your own, or virtually, as we give thanks, here are some reminders:

 

  • Keep your eyes focused on God – it keeps us in a place of humility and total dependence on Him. We recognize how much we need Him and that He is in control.
  • Count your blessings, name them one by one – this makes us recognize that we have so much to be thankful for, even the little things that we often take for granted. In the midst of our challenges, many are His blessings towards us.
  • Remember that He is a giver of good gifts – we were never intended to be fully self-sufficient. God is our provider, ‘Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 1 Chronicles 16:11-12; James 1:17
  • A grateful heart leaves no room for grumbling and complaining – it is impossible to be genuinely thankful and be filled with ungratefulness.
  • Give thanks in anticipation of your victory – a thankful heart drives away doubt and releases faith for God to have His way in your life.
  • Thanksgiving is an action – praise and thanksgiving make the enemy flee. The forces of darkness are pushed back and strongholds are dismantled when we lift up God in thanksgiving and praise.
  • My final reminder is that thanksgiving invites the presence of God into our lives and opens the door for continued blessings. The Lord delights in our thankfulness and He pours out His Spirit and favor on those who give adoration and praise and glory and honor and thanksgiving to Him.

 

“O Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.”  Ps. 95:1-3

 

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“Thanksgiving invites the presence of God into our lives and opens the door for continued blessings.”

 

Created for Purpose

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

pur·pose

noun: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. “the purpose of the meeting is to appoint a trustee”

verb: have as one’s intention or objective. “God has allowed suffering, even purposed it”

 

“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth” (Exodus 9:16).

 

We are living in a time when people are suffering from a lot of stress generated by external and internal sources. I believe that much of the stress that we are suffering is linked to the difficulty to clearly define our life’s purpose. I’m talking about a purpose that’s personal and tugs at the inner core begging for its potential to be developed and realized into possibilities yet struggling to define itself in clear concise words. A purpose that’s beyond vision boards and goal setting. It’s that awareness that you have accomplished much but deep down still desires self-actualization. In other words, you know that your presence on this earth is more than your present accomplishments. Surprisingly, you might even be considered to be an overachiever, pursuing profession, position, and possessions but there is still a yearning to realize (tap into) this inner purpose that beckons you to more than you already are.

 

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).

 

Another logical linear plan may not be the answer. Another activity or club membership may still feel meaningless. Truth is, all activities and engagements are meaningless and fall short without a purpose.

 

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).

 

To self-actualize, you must have purpose. We are all created by God to fulfill a personal destiny and sometimes, unconsciously, people are stressed trying to find their purpose in this life.

 

So what’s your purpose in life? Are you experiencing inner conflict, trying to identify your purpose? Are there days when you wonder, what has God placed you on this earth to do?

 

Finding and realizing your purpose does not need another plan, it needs a shift:

 

Acknowledge God

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Surrender to The Master plan

“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

 

Release Control

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

 

Challenge inner negative narrative

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

 

Sometimes our purpose seems bigger than our ability. It calls us but it also scares us. It beckons us to step out of the boat but the realization of what that involves causes us to pause and question our sanity. But, if you know your God, you also know that He can be trusted. We cannot discover something we already know. Staying in the boat does not exactly allow us to walk in purpose if purpose calls us to walk on water – purpose involves the Divine.

 

Finally, be confident that God fulfills His purpose for believers. God’s greater purpose should at all times be our focus. Whatever opportunities come our way must be aligned with His purpose for our lives to avoid dire consequences.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2:12-13).

Purposeful Peace

Posted on by Michelle Matthias

 

Are you waiting for your circumstances to be fully aligned to have peace?

We cannot wait for everything to be right for us to have peace.

There will always be trials; there will always be something to worry about. If we are not careful, we worry constantly. Take note of the things that worry you and cause you to lose sleep.

We may not know what the future holds but we know who holds the future. Most of what robs us of our peace are out of our control, why not release it and give it to God? Let God fight your battles and rest assured that He has never lost one. Don’t try to change things that only God can change. Being frustrated doesn’t bring answers to your situation.

I encourage you to turn your worry into worship. Do your part and let God do the rest. Prayer and faith in God bring peace. Peace is the inner calm that comes with the understanding that God is fighting your battles. Enter into His peace when the storms of life are raging. He is our Shepherd and He watches over us. Psalm 23 says that we will go through valleys but encourages us to stay in peace.

Worry is a thief; don’t let it rob you of your peace!

Empowerment Coach

Michelle Matthias

“Peace is the inner calm that comes with the understanding that God is fighting your battles.”

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